I left yesterday’s post with an open ended question: How do we develop and cultivate trust in marriage?
1. Pray and read Scripture together on a regular basis. Many Christian couples who have mastered table grace have found it difficult to develop this routine with any degree of regularity, including us. It’s a hard discipline to master, because there’s always something else vying for our attention. But it does make a difference. Praying together is a tangible way to realize that life is not just about me or even us.
2. Recall God’s faithfulness in history. One of the things you may have noticed in your Old Testament readings is the frequency with which those characters recite their pilgrimage. Prayers to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are an example of this. Another is the ongoing reminder of the Exodus and how God rescued them from slavery and delivered them through the Red Sea. By retelling these stories the Israelites were reminded of God’s past faithfulness. This recollection encouraged their faith in God for both the present and the future. Retelling the stories of God’s faithfulness in your marital history will build your faith in God for today and tomorrow.
3. Take conversations to a spiritual level. I recently read that we live out of two narratives. There is the narrative of what has happened, and then the narrative that I tell myself about what happened. While we may not be able to do much about the first narrative, we certainly have some influence over the second one. Too many times we fail to ask ourselves questions such as, “Where is God in all of this?” or “What does God say or think about this?” By elevating the conversation to a spiritual level we invite God to be a part of it and can begin to see his hand at work.
4. Encourage one another’s obedience to God. Lisa does this very well for me. When things happen that are difficult or disappointing, we can either join our spouse in complaining, blaming and excuse making or we can encourage our spouse to be obedient, reminding him or her of Christ’s obedience while on earth (Hebrews 5:7-9).
5. Rejoice that the struggle will make you stronger. Psalm 81:16 says, “But I would feed you with the finest wheat. I would satisfy you with honey from the rock.” God has a way of bringing forth sweet things from hard places. The difficulties we endure produce growth and develop our character. Good things come out of those hard experiences.